


The Switch

by kyjr



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, NewS (Band)
Genre: Bodyswitch, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 14:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyjr/pseuds/kyjr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Wednesday morning, Massu wakes up. But it's not his face that stares back at him from the mirror.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Switch

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://allthegyoza.livejournal.com/profile)[**allthegyoza**](http://allthegyoza.livejournal.com/), originally posted [here](http://allthegyoza.livejournal.com/17641.html).

It's a Wednesday. This shouldn't happen on a Wednesday, Massu thinks. This should be a weekend thing, if it had to happen at all.

Tegoshi's wide brown eyes stare back at him from the mirror. He runs a hand through his platinum blonde hair and sort of freaks out a little. Just a little. Not too much. He runs a hand down his body - which is slim and feels kind of fragile (which is stupid, because Massu knows how hard Tegoshi can punch) - and back up again, cocking his head sideways and watching the Tegoshi in the mirror copy his actions.

This Wednesday is going to be a difficult one.

"Tegoshi, I have your body," he sighs into the phone. Tegoshi is silent. Massu guesses he's just woken up.

"...What?" he answers, in Massu's voice, and _that's_ when Massu freaks out.

Massu really doesn't want to answer the door. Massu really, _really_ doesn't want to answer the door, but Tegoshi is there and banging on it and yelling at him in his own voice and all this is too much for him to handle at nine o'clock in the morning. He opens the door slowly, jumping back when Tegoshi barges in with a flurry of-- of-- well, of _Massu_.

It's really fucking weird to see your own body standing across from you. It's also really weird to see your shoulders stretching out one of Tegoshi's skull shirts. Your body should not be wearing Tegoshi's clothes.

"How--" Tegoshi starts. "How did-- What?" he ends up asking.

Massu shakes his head. "I have no idea. Maybe it was that bad gyoza I ate the other night..."

Tegoshi clicks his tongue and sighs before perching himself down onto Massu's couch. "I don't want to be Massu," he says with a pout. Massu isn't entirely sure how to take that. "I want to be me."

"I don't really want to be you either," Massu says, and Tegoshi's eyebrows furrow.

"Why not?" he asks in confusion. "Everyone should want to be me."

  
>>><<<

 

Massu has to pretend to be Tegoshi. It's horrible.

Tegoshi is on a _diet_.

So whilst Tegoshi sits there and munches happily on one of Koyama's homemade onigiri, Massu picks through a pathetic looking salad and vows to never ever eat a suspicious gyoza ever again. They had wondered whether the others would realise that something was wrong with them, but nothing had been said so far; they'd been pretty good, Massu thinks. He had managed to wrestle Tegoshi into a few of his clothes and had laughed at his outraged expression.

It was like dressing a mannequin. Who looked exactly like you.

"You know..." Shige starts. Massu jumps.

"What?"

"Massu is acting weird, don't you think?" Shige asks, tapping the spine of his book.

"How do you mean?" Massu asks and quickly looks over to Tegoshi, who is eating entirely too slowly.

"Watch," Shige says. "Massu!" he calls, and it takes Tegoshi a while before he remembers that _he_ is Massu.

"Y...es?" he answers slowly, delicately wiping his mouth free of rice. Koyama fusses over him. "What is it?"

Shige promptly drops Massu's jacket onto the floor. Tegoshi shrugs.

"That's it?" he asks.

"See what I mean?" Shige asks, turning to Massu. "Normally he'd be all over th-- Are you okay? You've turned green."

Massu is slowly _dying_ inside.

 

>>><<<

 

He doesn't know how long he has to be Tegoshi but it's really fucking awkward when he's in the shower and it's not his body under his hands. He doesn't know if he should avert his eyes or just... not... wash certain parts. "Don't molest my body!" Tegoshi messages him, which leaves him worried because that wasn't on his mind _at all_ , and what the hell is Tegoshi doing to his body?

Tegoshi comes over later to tell him which products to use on his skin and what he's not allowed to eat and that he's only meant to sleep on his right side (because Tegoshi's 'good' side is his left side, apparently. Massu thinks all sides of Tegoshi look as good as the rest, but he keeps quiet). When Tegoshi pauses to let Massu inform him of all the 'preparations' he should do to keep Massu as Massu-like as possible, Massu just stares back.

"Uuh," he tries. "Make sure you've got clean underwear on?"

Tegoshi stares. "Do you do anything to make sure your hair isn't frizzy in the morning, or-- or do you have a special routine to take care of your skin--"

Massu shakes his head. "Nope. Just make sure my feet are warm. My feet get cold easily."

Tegoshi's look is murderous as Massu gives him his favourite fluffy bedtime socks.

 

>>><<<

 

He stays as Tegoshi for the next three days, and it's no fun whatsoever. He misses eating whatever he wants; he misses wearing his clothes and hanging out with Nakamaru. Instead, he has to eat whatever Tegoshi tells him to and wash his hair in this specific way and make sure he doesn't watch television after eight thirty at night, because otherwise Tegoshi's eyes puff up or something.

Massu kind of wants to do it just to see what happens.

Tegoshi has soccer practice one day and it's the most traumatic thing Massu has ever had to live through. They're a bunch of muddy men who kick at his shins and tell him to 'man up', and all he wants to do is take a nice warm shower and get all this dirt off him. Tegoshi pats his hair when he shows up on his doorstep; Massu gets pouty when he's forced to do sports.

And then, one miraculous morning, Massu wakes up and his hair isn't blonde.

"I'm not Tegoshi!" he shrieks happily. His happiness is short lived, however, when he realises that his voice is much too deep to be his own. He scrambles to the mirror and groans when he sees messy black hair and untoned muscles. "Fuck."

Shige isn't that thrilled with the news, either. "Massu, what the fuck is happening?" he asks over the phone, and Massu just sighs.

"I don't know; the same thing happened with Tegoshi," he answers, and ignores Shige's squeak. "Yeah, I'm you."

"Oh my god, this is not happening," Shige murmurs, and Massu knows he's panicking. "I'm-- I can't--"

"Shige, breathe."

" _Don't you talk to me in my own voice,_ " Shige hisses, before he groans. "Oh, this is too weird..."

"Yeah well, wait till you see me," Massu says, and looks down at himself. At Shige's body. "...Ew."

"What?" Shige screeches. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I just saw you naked."

"I fucking hate you," is Shige's reply.

"You're not... on a diet, are you?" Massu suddenly asks, and Shige hums.

"No, why? Should I be?"

Massu beams.

 

>>><<<

 

Being Shige is a lot easier than being Tegoshi. With Tegoshi, he had to be all pretty and delicate, but Shige is easy. He just has to fall down and pretend to read books a lot.

Tegoshi beams at Shige when he walks past, but Shige just grunts at him. Tegoshi turns to Massu. "You didn't," is all he says, and Massu nods.

"I think I did."

Tegoshi sighs. "You know he has filming today, right?"

Massu's heart leaps into his chest.

It turns out that Shige is filming for Mirai Theatre, a show that Massu has never, ever seen before. He should probably listen to Koyama's ramblings one of these days; he's got no clue as to what he's supposed to do. So he sits there all wide-eyed as the crew moves around them, calling for this and asking for that, and Massu tries to stay as close to Koyama as he can.

"Shige," Koyama hisses. "What're you doing?"

"Nothing," Massu answers immediately. This suit feels too hot, and he pulls at his shirt. "It's just-- I don't really feel well."

That snaps Koyama to attention, and he's all over him like a rash. "Where? What hurts? Are you alright? Is it life threatening?" he shoots off, and Massu just shakes his head.

"I think it's just the flu or something--"

"But you just had that three weeks ago," Koyama says, and Massu curses his shitty memory. Of _course_ Shige had the flu three weeks ago. He remembers laughing at him.

"Maybe it came back?" he tries, and Koyama nods.

"Maybe. Filming won't last too long, I think. All you have to do is read the right cues and you'll be okay," he says, and Massu nods. Right. He can do that. Sort of.

He makes a complete fool of himself in front of the guests but he supposes that's what Shige normally does anyway, so that's okay. The director congratulates him and he doesn't know what for; one of the female staff pats him on the shoulder and he doesn't know what to do.

"You were really good, Shige," Koyama says, beaming. Massu laughs.

He's better at being Shige than Shige is.

 

>>><<<

 

Shige does not appreciate being Massu.

"I can't work on my writing at work," he complains. They're sitting in Shige's living room, with Shige sipping daintily at his coffee. It always annoys Massu how Shige has to have his coffee in a teacup. Drives him fucking crazy. "I'm running behind on my writing schedule; I need a chapter done by the end of the month," he continues, sighing.

"Then... shouldn't you be writing now?" Massu asks, staring at Shige's feet. He's wearing mismatched socks. Shige glares at him.

"Yes, I was, before you came over," he answers. "What did you want, anyway?"

Massu shrugs. "You're smart, right?" he asks, and Shige rolls his eyes. Massu ignores it. "So... How do you think this all happened?"

Shige peers at him over the rim of his teacup - it should be a coffee cup, Massu thinks - and sighs. "I don't have a clue, Massu," he answers. "How do _you_ think it happened?"

"Bad gyoza," Massu answers with a nod. "Definitely the bad gyoza."

Shige kicks him out.

 

>>><<<

 

Just because he knows how it began doesn't mean he knows how to stop it.

He really wishes he did though, because now he's Koyama, and he's beginning to wonder if he's just going to start changing into everyone. He really doesn't want to. Although, he has entertained the thought of being Nishikido for a while. That'd be fun.

Koyama freaks out just as much as Massu thinks he'll freak out. "Massu!" he shrieks down the phone. "Massu, oh my god, you won't believe this-- I'm you-- I don't know what's happening, or how, or-- Oh god, what if I've been abducted by aliens and--"

"Koyama, shut the fuck up," Massu deadpans, and the curse word is enough to stop Koyama. "Now, breathe."

Koyama takes a huge breath in before squeaking, "Why are you so calm about this?"

"I've already been Shige and Tegoshi," Massu answers, already trying to spike Koyama's hair up into a mohawk, because he's always wanted to see Koyama with a mohawk. "I'm over being surprised."

"Oh. But-- What do we-- Wait, you were Shige?"

"Yep."

"I _knew_ he didn't really have the flu!" Koyama cried. "Why is everyone always lying to me?"

"Koyama."

"Right, right, wrong thing to be screaming about."

"Yep."

 

>>><<<

 

Koyama tiptoes into the dressing room - Massu doesn't know why - and pokes his cheek carefully.

"Massu," he whispers. "Massu."

"What?" Massu snaps.

"You have my face," Koyama says in awe, and pinches Massu's cheek.

"Ow-- What the-- Stop!"

"Massu, stop assaulting Koyama," Shige drawls as he walks in and dumps his books down on the table.

"He's me!" Koyama screeches, and Shige stares.

"Koyama, stop assaulting Massu," he corrects, and sighs. "Massu, you're really being troublesome lately."

"Not my fault!" Massu cries.

"Oh, is Massu Koyama today?" Tegoshi asks. "That's nice."

"It's not _nice_ ," Koyama flails. Koyama is good at flailing. He does it often. "I have News Every recording today!"

Massu faints.

  
>>><<<

 

Being important is difficult, Massu finds. He's in _another_ stupid suit, waiting to go on set, and he has no idea what to do. Again.

Koyama tells him that he has to present a story that he's just covered - something about guide dogs - and hands him the notes. "You just walk over to the podium thingy when they call your name," he says, gesturing widly. "And then you speak when they tell you to."

He has a copy of his notes which save Massu's life; he's shaking and sweating and his voice is quivering and he does a horrible job of it all and he gets yelled at afterwards by a _very scary woman_. Massu never wants to see her again. Ever.

He visits Koyama later. He flops on him as soon as he gets through the door. "I fucked up," Massu says, and Koyama pets his hair.

"It's okay, me," he purrs. Massu rolls his eyes but he's too comfortable to move; Koyama steers them into the lounge room and sits down onto the couch. Koyama has The Best Couch Ever; it's all cozy and warm and just kind of surrounds you when you sink into it. Massu curls into one of the many cushions and sighs.

"I want to be me again," Massu whines. Koyama gives him the most sympathetic look he has ever seen, and Massu wonders if that's because Koyama's looking at his own miserable face right now.

"Wait, I think we need hot chocolate," Koyama interrupts, and Massu just nods. He feels like a complete girl sitting there talking about his problems with a mug of hot chocolate with a little pink marshmallow floating in the middle of it. He doesn't really care though, because it's delicious, and Koyama's couch is comfy, and he's all nice and warm now. "Okay, keep going."

"I don't want to be Shige, or Tegoshi, or you," Massu says, sipping at his drink. "No offence," he adds, and Koyama just nods. "I want to be me. I want to know how my hair is going to feel when I touch it; I want to know whose fingers these are when I look at them. I want to know whose eyes I'm going to be looking into when I look in the mirror," he says, and buries his face into the pillow.

"But Massu," Koyama says softly, "You're looking at yourself."

"Huh?"

"You might look like us," Koyama continues, "But you're still _you_."

Massu stays the night. They stay up until three eating lollies and making fun of the late night television programs - Massu has to shield Koyama's eyes from all the phone-sex hotline advertisements. Massu blackmails Koyama into making more hot chocolate at midnight and they giggle because they're hyped up on sugar and overtired and _everything_ is hilarious.

It's a good night.

  
>>><<<

 

And then there's one fabulous, glorious, amazing morning when he wakes up and he's... himself. Massu is Massu.

Massu is _Massu_.

He calls everyone he knows - they all abuse him to hell because it's five thirty in the morning and he's screeching in their ears but he doesn't care, because he's _Massu_. He runs a hair through his red hair and smiles his own smile and sings in his own voice and runs through his apartment with his own legs and it's all so _wonderful_.

He's so happy he has work so he can go and flaunt his regular body to everyone, so he gets there super-duper early, smile plastered onto his face as he rummages through his bag for his mirror - just so he can make sure he's himself again.

"Tegoshi!" he yelps, just as the blonde walks into the room. "I'm me!"

"That's nice," Tegoshi snaps, throwing his bag down and falling face-first onto the couch. "I'm Tegoshi."

"Yeah, I know--"

"No," Tegoshi says forcefully, sitting back up and pinning Massu with a dark glare. "I mean, I'm Shige... in Tegoshi's body."

Ah, fuck.

 

 

\--the end


End file.
